Many Paths to Grace

Andrew Peterson sings of the "many roads that we all traveled just to get here."  It's an apt metaphor for General Assembly.  I've talked to several folks about their roles in ministry and each ministry couple/family has an unique journey; while we are on a kaleidoscope of paths, our spiritual journey is the same narrow way that leads to life.  It's been fun this week to watch serendipitous Providence at work as people meet for the first time and find they are connected somehow. I've seen folks who were a part of my journey at various times, each time the picture shifted, the kaleidoscope colors rearranged; each person, each friendship reminded me of previous patterns some with more blues or vermillion, others when brilliant gold shone.

On Tuesday morning, Joan and I participated in the Art Walk, a guided tour of the Hunter Museum with a quick view of a sculpture garden around the Tennessee River.  I learned much from our docent as we discussed different periods of art in American history and noted the exquisite architecture of the mansion overlooking the bluff, a spot once important during the Civil War.  A few ladies lingered after the tour to get the bonus guidance of the abstract art room.  We talked at length about this large paint-stained canvas by Paul Jenkins (thumbnail below).  It was not meant to represent anything: just an experiment in color and technique of paint rolling down a stark white canvas.

But I contend it signifies something because it is titled, and while I may be wrong for seeing a bird in what is supposed to be an exercise to highlight color, the word phenomena suggests, as least in the Kantian sense, that it is something not in itself, but as it appears to me.  Perhaps it is simply the royal blue becoming violet as it appears to the observer, but visitation, I think, implies that the something that is being perceived by the observer/painter, not simply as it exists on canvas, is manifesting itself to me.  I am being visited by something--a bird, a group of colors blending to form another, I don't know really, but it brings me again to the Peterson song.

Why these Many Roads "brought us to this moment isn't clear," he sings.  Perhaps interpreting abstract expressionism is missing the point, the art is not meant to contain meaning, but how like understanding God's Providence is viewing this abstract art.  We don't see the point clearly.  We find out in bits and pieces as it is revealed to us the reason for our journey.  Events seem random, unplanned, yet there is a design beyond our dreams or musings.
Paul Jenkins (1923-2012), Phenomena Royal Violet Visitation, 1977, acrylic on canvas, signed and dated at lower center, 55 x 169 inches, Gift of Ruth S. and A. William Holmberg, 1978.22
Phenomena Royal Violet Visitation by Paul Jenkins



 I finished reading Dancing with Max a book by Chuck Colson's daughter about life with her autistic son a few nights ago.  It reminded me of a part of my journey I had mostly forgotten. A difficult part. Life with D when he was younger, hyper, incredibly hard-to-manage. Life before being a pastor's wife gave me a husband who prayed for me and supported me in this difficulty, life before God had drawn me back to Himself after having tried to forge my own way and failing miserably to be happy, prosperous.  And while I don't understand that path and all its purposes, reading this book now gave me some insight that was helpful.

I've also been reading in Ezekiel:  how often did the Israelites try their own way, make alliances with other nations against God's wisdom?  The middle part of the book seems to be all about God's judgment against their rebelliousness, and this morning I arrived at chapter 36 vs. 25 when finally there is redemption:

 "I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.  I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."

God does this for them, but get this in vs. 32, "I want you to know that I am not doing this for your sake, declares the Sovereign LORD."  

The redemption does not happen because of anything the Israelites have done; verse 32 makes that clear.  It is because the Lord chooses to forgive and cleanse.  Pure grace.  My NIV notes said that Ezekiel is a prophet of pure grace.  You don't really get that in most of the chapters where the judgements almost read like Jeremiah and his jeremiad.  But it's there.

I would almost say that grace has been the theme of this GA for me.  In the first sermon Bryan Chapell  preached on Psalm 32, God, the God who does not pause, is our hiding place:   vs. 5 "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD'--and you forgave the guilt of my sin.  Selah  Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.  You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah."  If we confess, He is faithful and just and will forgive.

I missed Andrew Peterson's concert last night at Covenant College because the only person in my family who will travel any distance for live music is D, and he is having a blast at Camp Mawmaw/Daddyghee.  To make up for missing the concert, I have listened to Peterson's songs this morning and the one that spoke to me most was "Silence of God."  For those times when it seems as if my prayers are just echoes in my own head, that God does not see, that God is silent, that God is disciplining me for my disobedience, this song reminds me that I cannot trust my feelings, faith is knowing God loves me with a love everlasting and that He does hear and He does know, God is El Roi (Genesis 16:13)--

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain but the breaking does not
The aching may remain but the breaking does not
In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

Here is the song in its entirety: Silence of God .



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