Sorrow Redeemed
"My assumption is that the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of all of us."
In When I Lay My Isaac Down, Carol Kent writes about the difficult times in our lives, e.g. the death of a loved one, debilitating disease, accident, or addiction, when we choose to believe God is good and loving "even in this." Even if nothing changes. . .This past week, while I was shopping with my eldest, I was approached as I have been several times in the past few months by a total stranger who claims that my son is going to be healed completely; one said gradually, another said suddenly, but all agreed on one caveat: If I not only prayed, but also believed.
I have prayed. I also believe that if it is God's will, then it will be done. But I can't say that I believe D's being made whole here on earth to be God's will. Is my doubt preventing me from witnessing the miraculous? Kent tells the story of a missionary, Gracia Burnham, whose husband was beheaded and who was herself captive for one year, chained to a tree every night without enough food, water, or warm clothing. Of her "even in this" experience, Burnham says that "I resolve to keep living in the embrace of God's gladness and love for as long as he gives me breath."
Because I believe that God uses trials and difficulties to sanctify us and that He promises to be with us in all things, but that he does not promise deliverance from every bad situation, does that mean that I am not open to the "Stand up and walk" moments in the gospel where Jesus provided complete healing?
Oswald Chambers says it this way: "If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish--His purpose is the process itself. . . .It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God."
When her son is sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole for the shooting death of his stepdaughters' abusive father, Kent says that she could focus her deep passions on the injustice in the world, her pain, her unfulfilled expectations, or realize that "I have the awesome privilege of playing a role in God's grand story, in a drama that does not waste sorrow" (165). (A dear friend's mother giving me this book at this time in my life: one thousand gifts #79)
In 1 Peter 1:4-9 (MSG), Peter writes that "God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all--life healed and whole. . . Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure: genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him--with laughter and singing. (Having my voice back and being able to sing that "Christ is risen, alleluia" this Easter Sunday: one thousand gifts #80) Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation."
Is "The Day" this year or in the next for D? Is it10 years from now, when Idebenone (a vitamin regimen that has improved cognition: one thousand gifts #81) has been perfected and provides a cure for degenerative diseases? Or is it The Day of Judgement, when we stand before Jesus and believers receive a new body--healed and whole?
I don't know. I think I will cover both possibilities. I will continue to pray for supernatural healing now as D is willing to do so, but keep my focus on that final day when all believers will be made whole and given new bodies. As the passage Carol Kent used as her mantra during the horrific ordeal:
"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. The hard times now are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more than meets the eye.( a conversation with a friend who is gifted at seeing more than meets the eye: one thousand gifts #82) The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (MSG).
God help me not to waste sorrow. Redeem my sorrow, Lord Jesus.
The song which gave Carol the title of her book.
-- Fredereick Beuchner
I have prayed. I also believe that if it is God's will, then it will be done. But I can't say that I believe D's being made whole here on earth to be God's will. Is my doubt preventing me from witnessing the miraculous? Kent tells the story of a missionary, Gracia Burnham, whose husband was beheaded and who was herself captive for one year, chained to a tree every night without enough food, water, or warm clothing. Of her "even in this" experience, Burnham says that "I resolve to keep living in the embrace of God's gladness and love for as long as he gives me breath."
Because I believe that God uses trials and difficulties to sanctify us and that He promises to be with us in all things, but that he does not promise deliverance from every bad situation, does that mean that I am not open to the "Stand up and walk" moments in the gospel where Jesus provided complete healing?
Oswald Chambers says it this way: "If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish--His purpose is the process itself. . . .It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God."
When her son is sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole for the shooting death of his stepdaughters' abusive father, Kent says that she could focus her deep passions on the injustice in the world, her pain, her unfulfilled expectations, or realize that "I have the awesome privilege of playing a role in God's grand story, in a drama that does not waste sorrow" (165). (A dear friend's mother giving me this book at this time in my life: one thousand gifts #79)
In 1 Peter 1:4-9 (MSG), Peter writes that "God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all--life healed and whole. . . Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure: genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him--with laughter and singing. (Having my voice back and being able to sing that "Christ is risen, alleluia" this Easter Sunday: one thousand gifts #80) Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation."
Is "The Day" this year or in the next for D? Is it10 years from now, when Idebenone (a vitamin regimen that has improved cognition: one thousand gifts #81) has been perfected and provides a cure for degenerative diseases? Or is it The Day of Judgement, when we stand before Jesus and believers receive a new body--healed and whole?
I don't know. I think I will cover both possibilities. I will continue to pray for supernatural healing now as D is willing to do so, but keep my focus on that final day when all believers will be made whole and given new bodies. As the passage Carol Kent used as her mantra during the horrific ordeal:
"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. The hard times now are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more than meets the eye.( a conversation with a friend who is gifted at seeing more than meets the eye: one thousand gifts #82) The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (MSG).
God help me not to waste sorrow. Redeem my sorrow, Lord Jesus.
The song which gave Carol the title of her book.
Love it, Ginny. You are clearly continuing to fall toward Him =)
ReplyDeleteT
Thanks--so good to talk to you last night!
ReplyDeleteI love the initial quote (Buechner) - that is very much the truth.
ReplyDeleteI truly hope all these strangers know something....but you are right in your approach. What will be will be, no matter how much worry or sorrow is involved. Prayer is the one true vehicle. And my prayers are with you.
What a great quote:
ReplyDelete"If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish--His purpose is the process itself. . . .It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God."