To Be
I was watching a friend's 9-month-old today while her mom worked for a few hours and it was delightful! The baby was curious and content. She explored carefully and seemed to really study each book, each stuffed animal my boys offered. It was like time slowed down as I watched her; I was free to just "be" and watch her discover what was what in the new surroundings.
My youngest is 4, so I've forgotten what this "baby time" is like. It was peaceful, quiet, soothing to my soul. I do remember enough to know that not all of the hours in the day with a 9-month-old are like that, but this afternoon was restorative.
one thousand gift #21: an afternoon with Molly
I was reading excerpts from Kierkegaard a few nights ago and am thoroughly fascinated with his mind. In excerpts of Sickness Unto Death, his penultimate work, he writes of two kinds of despair. The first is the "despair which is Unconscious that it is Despair, or the Despairing Unconsciousness of having a Self and an Eternal Self" and the second "The Despair which is Conscious of being Despair, as also it is Conscious of being a Self wherein there is after all something Eternal, and then is either in despair at not willing to be itself, or in despair at willing to be itself." So either we are in despair because we don't know that we have a self (and thus an eternal self) or we despair because we want to be something we are not or are trying to be something we are.
The answer? Just to be. To be who we are created to be: "By relating itself to its own self and by willing to be itself, the self is grounded transparently in the Power which constituted it. . ." A person has a self because it has been endowed by the Creator with selfhood: "having a self, being a self is the greatest, the infinite concession that has been made to man, but also eternity's claim on him."
Today is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday and my husband preached from Psalm 8. In a contemporary paraphrase, The Message verses 3 and 4 read this way:
I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?
Not only does He bother with us, He gives us a self, a spirit, and invites us to live.
Again from The Message, Matthew 11:28 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
one thousand gift #22: "the unforced rhythms of grace"
My youngest is 4, so I've forgotten what this "baby time" is like. It was peaceful, quiet, soothing to my soul. I do remember enough to know that not all of the hours in the day with a 9-month-old are like that, but this afternoon was restorative.
one thousand gift #21: an afternoon with Molly
I was reading excerpts from Kierkegaard a few nights ago and am thoroughly fascinated with his mind. In excerpts of Sickness Unto Death, his penultimate work, he writes of two kinds of despair. The first is the "despair which is Unconscious that it is Despair, or the Despairing Unconsciousness of having a Self and an Eternal Self" and the second "The Despair which is Conscious of being Despair, as also it is Conscious of being a Self wherein there is after all something Eternal, and then is either in despair at not willing to be itself, or in despair at willing to be itself." So either we are in despair because we don't know that we have a self (and thus an eternal self) or we despair because we want to be something we are not or are trying to be something we are.
The answer? Just to be. To be who we are created to be: "By relating itself to its own self and by willing to be itself, the self is grounded transparently in the Power which constituted it. . ." A person has a self because it has been endowed by the Creator with selfhood: "having a self, being a self is the greatest, the infinite concession that has been made to man, but also eternity's claim on him."
Today is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday and my husband preached from Psalm 8. In a contemporary paraphrase, The Message verses 3 and 4 read this way:
I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?
Not only does He bother with us, He gives us a self, a spirit, and invites us to live.
Again from The Message, Matthew 11:28 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
one thousand gift #22: "the unforced rhythms of grace"
It's funny the peacefulness you describe with the 9 month-old...in terms of looking at parenting. At each step there are different struggles, different worries...and different wonders as well. Glad you got to slow down and enjoy her!
ReplyDeleteHeavy stuff the rest... the "infinite concession that has been made to man" ..the self, which I so just want to joke w/ you about how your blog keeps trying to steal my self/identity :)
But so true that acceptance of our true natures...to be... is so much a part of the recipe of happiness. And "unforced rhythms of grace" is such a beautiful contemplation (and goal)!