A Moment of Sublimity

My favorite gift from Stanley:  my unimug tea infuser

"In this way, Papa constructs himself, every day.  I say 'constructs himself' because I think that each time it's a new construction, as if everything has been reduced to ashes during the night, and he has to start from scratch."
                                  --Muriel Barbery

In The Elegance of the Hedgehog, Paloma, a 12 year old, shares her rich interiority with its timeless wisdom and sharp analysis of those whose lives are entwined with hers.  In her "Profound Thoughts," or journal entries, we recognize her kindred spirit with the building's concierge, the story's "hedgehog" and heroine.  Both are intelligent women who use masks of mediocrity in order to cultivate their extraordinary spirits behind shields of introversion.

Another similarity between Renee the concierge and young Paloma is a love of tea.  Renee muses about the meaning of a cup of tea in the morning or afternoon:

"When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability to see greatness in small things.  Where is beauty to be found?  In great things that, like everything else, are doomed to die, or in small things that aspire to nothing, yet know how to set a jewel of infinity in a single moment?"

I am always tinkering with my schedule.  How can we accomplish more during home school?  When can I fit in housework that will leave me time to connect with my husband?  How can I limit social media so that I don't miss anything important but also don't fritter away time with amusing entertainment?  How do I balance caring for my family and caring for myself?  My schedule is in a state of flux.  The unexpected happens that requires adjustment.  As my grandmother once said, Life is a series of adjustments.  As soon as you get used to the way things are, things change.

I usually set New Year's Resolutions and have a sense of anticipation as I look forward to positive changes or a different outlook, but this year, I didn't feel the urge to set a single goal.  Many things flitted through my mind, but I didn't land on any one of them.  As a matter of fact, too many things were cluttering my mind and I felt overwhelmed.  For weeks.  I was heart-heavy, discouraged, and just plain sad.  Stan preached a sermon on Psalm 90 and verse 14 stuck out as my verse for 2015.  That's all I could do by way of New Year's Resolutions.  Pick out a theme verse for the year.  And in an attempt to dispel the gloom that had settled on me I chose Psalm 90:14:

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

And it made me smile for a few days to think of singing for joy and being glad.  But you can't manufacture your own joy.  Feelings fade and are unreliable.  When the sun shines after a few days of dreary gray winter skies, suddenly folks' spirits are lifted and things feel brighter, better.  Attaching my satisfaction with life to the whims of my emotions which can be as variable as a Southern winter weather report does not work.  My satisfaction is to be found not in a schedule that works, a sunny day, a happy family, but in His unfailing love.  That is the only constant.  And that has nothing to do with my feelings.

My morning tea and Bible reading have become my only priority. The rest of my schedule will happen as planned, or not.  I will find "greatness in small things" like my hands cradling the warmth of a tea cup, the fragrance of the sometimes bitter leaves transformed by the sweetness of orange-infused honey, and how in that moment, as I rustle pages and read God's love story to His people, pleading for understanding, that in that moment, falling on His grace, I am wrapped in his unfailing love, the "jewel of infinity."

As I begin my day this morning, I say, along with Renee:

                            Then let us drink a cup of tea.  Silence descends,
                            one hears the wind outside, autumn [winter] leaves rustle
                            and take flight, the cat [dog] sleeps in a warm pool of light.
                                   And with each swallow, time is sublimed. [my emphasis]

Not dwelling on my feelings, my sorrows, my shortcomings, my disappointments in myself or others, I will dwell on my GOD (I-Am-Present) and say with the Psalmist (Psalm 42:11):

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
    my salvation and my God.